Comment on: What is the very first thing for an old fart like me to learn so I can dabble in programming?
If you're just starting out, learning javascript via Khan Academy is a good way to go: https://www.khanacademy.org/computing/computer-programming . Javascript is always useful to know because it's the number one programming language in the world. Python is a better language for backend development and object-oriented programming but once you learn one language it becomes easier to learn other languages.
All culture and community must be drafted in service of the revolution!