Brainfuck

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I started out using FORTRAN. My mentor at the time said "don't ever learn COBOL".

His reasoning was that it would be too easy to get a job doing boring and stupid business programming and that I'd never do anything interesting again.

He was right. I didn't learn COBOL, but RPG instead (it's like COBOL without vowels). I've been making a good, easy, living for almost 30 years, but it is boring.

Perl: as stated in a recent article posted here about the while statement (which I can't find because Voat search sucks) Perl has tried very hard to offer absolutely every possible coding mechanism ever offered by any other functional language. The result is that everyone writes code in their very own way and comparing person X's code to person Y's code could make you believe they're actually different programming languages. In-line regular expressions, operator overloads and implicit variables are just a few examples out of many that makes Perl one of the hardest non-crypto languages to read.

If you're looking for a scripting language Python, Ruby and others are actually sane alternatives - Python even has as one of its core design principles that There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it - which seems to me as a direct jab at Perl development history. For the same reasons I'd say people are better off using #!/usr/bin/python3 than BASH when doing their Linux scripts. I know I do. Lua is also a lightning fast and embeddable scripting language for your projects.

Here is an example line of Perl code, taken from their regex guide:

$_ **= $_ , / {$_} / for 2 .. 42;

PHP: If you look at PHP's premise you'd think it's all good, right? A templating language that is super fast for the web. Right? Right but it has a lot of problems. It's a way more low-level language than it should be for working with the web (many of it's core functions are just direct calls to C standard library, which is crazy and super outdated nowadays) - this alone means silly web developers will try to use it for a ton of backend processes that really shouldn't be done in a templating language.

The major problem for me is the userbase though - PHP developers (the big frameworks you'll end up using with PHP included) can't help but repeatedly choose the weird and bug-prone ways of implementing things instead of good design, which results often in hard-to-debug errors and weird situations you just can't seem to get away from. I'm not a huge PHP coder though I've done my share but it seems to me that when the entire community has to quirk around a language then that's either the language's fault for making this easier to do than to create proper code or even for allowing it at all! Also there are a ton of crash courses promising "good IT money" and will teach you basic PHP, which means the market is flooded with Wordpress projects that are crap-full of copy-pasted boilerplate code where none should be, which the creator just puts up and gets the money from the client but it's impossible to maintain later on - which means it will fall on your hands instead once it needs more work and you'll have to do it all over again and explain to the client why it's even more expensive doing so than the few hundred bucks he paid to get the site up to begin with.

Again, there are dozens of modern scripting languages and frameworks that are better alternatives to PHP. Practically every language now has a templating framework, from Java to Python - just pick one you like and let me know what's your favorite alternative since the jury for templating is still open for me. Much more flak on PHP if it's your favorite language and you're thinking welp this guy is being a bit too harsh http://me.veekun.com/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

Haskell, it sucks

I'm before PHP is brought up.

But seriously listen to SamBone, he just laid out some great wisdom.

Basic and visual basic. They were so watered-down that they were really for, "If you're never going to learn to write software, learn this instead, and you can get along".

LOLCODE

Java.

It's fucking horrible.

Basic.

#Atari4Lyfe

Learn languages you'll be paid to use. If you do this then you will focus on the languages you SHOULD learn as opposed to the ones you shouldn't.

But my two cents here. Certain languages are dead and are probably not worth the effort for a hobbyist. Obvious ones are PERL BASIC, etc. Less obvious is PHP. These languages are used by Greybeards or by newbies who have a Greybeard as a boss. But, it's rare to find a modern project written in PHP, PERL, etc without the influence of a Greybeard.

The standard I like to hold is "If we were recovering from a zombie apocalypse and we had to become serious about choosing a language, which languages would make the cut"

C/C++, Assembly, Python, and BASH would be in. MAYBE javascript, but that is a stretch. Ruby would be out. C# and Java would be out.

• Brainfuck
• LOLCODE
• JSFuck
• Chef

Along with pretty much anything listed here: https://esolangs.org/wiki/Language_list

Forth. For your own good: Do not use Forth!

I did it for a while, (Because I was young and needed the money.) and it broke my brain and hurt my soul.

Javascript

I got tired of Lingo a long time ago...

Fortran.

Also, anyone who hates OOP is a backwards-ass retard who's stuck in 1993.

PHP

Mathlab

LabView

The first two are not descent with their variables, you can't define the variables and while working with them, in Mathlab's case, they will change to another data type without any valid reason.

And LabView is just weird, and overly complicated.

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